Monday Morning Muster - Memories

[richie264]

Dai Hood remember Walley used to make us wear weights down our denims to keep the bottoms looking smart, lads would use curtain waights, bicycle chains all kinds of stuff, then rolls of cardboard to finish them off, the nightmare of getting dressed, put on denims, put weights around legs, put on boots, tuck into elastics,pull denims down to knees,lower weights,put in cardboard, pull up denims tap feet lightly. march onto square gingerly, come to attentention in a "smart soldier like manner" cringe as your weights fell out the bottom

When I was a Pl Sgt in Shorncliffe the sea fog would come rolling in from the sea & you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, One morning we tiptoed all the Pls off the back of the square when the fog cleared the whole muster had vanished, leaving the RSM & CSMs out there on there own it's a good job they saw the funny side. the Jnrs loved it.

[dai hood]

yea richie i still get nightmares thinking about it ,you had to get up about two hours early just to put your trousers on,but i secretly liked it when he got someone, its like laughing in church,you know you should,nt but you cant help it. or am i just wicked?

[ap1]

I remember in Lemgo when mighy mouse roared as the national anthem was being played and Alan Macandrew RP at the time was smiling from the NAAFI window not standing to attention-we didnt see him walk but we knew where he was going - Im surprised I remember that as I didnt turn up for most of them. Might have been a drum service

It was a Beating the Retreat(forever known as "Beating the Meat") for a comrades visit on a lazy saturday afternoon. Mac got bust for that

[Gwyn Nicholas]

John - BRILLIANT. You should write a book, I for one would buy it!

[Dai]

First day back in the Bn after 3 years away (last year in Africa) only had tropicals and jungle boots - which in fairness could have been a bit cleaner, no worries as 2 i/c Anti tanks whos going to see me?????
No one, would have been the answer if CSM SP Coy hadn't been sick. No pace stick, stand in CSM, not really a drill pig anyway. Marched in to the RSM on the square...Don Butts face was a picture.

RSM "Dave, it's a suprise to see you here"......Dave "Not as suprised as I am to be here!!"

I won't describe my marker drill, but I could hear Don saying "for F*ck sake Dai call it a day and stand still.

You see it's not just the Fusiliers who get it in the neck.............but I think I got away with it... no, no really

Remember that morning well, seem to think my drill was sxxxe aswell

[dutchman]

monday morning muster outside a coy block in lemgo all standing there getting the once over and out of the bushes pops up will 59 after 25 to many drinks down lemgo , took the attention away from us bags of s*** for a while alas not long enough , john lemmin asking politely (not) if you want the pill (his fist) jeez did we put up wth that . if i saw him now id tell him no uncertain terms................................. mmm sorry colour i wont do it again ,, coward or what

[richie264]

I remember standing on muster freezing our T**ts off in working dress possibly short sleeve order (that usually came in by date not weather conditions) when Major Crocker would stroll on wearing a parka, I used to love the quirky individuals of all ranks that were allowed to be a little different in those days.

[John Turner]

Yeah - "Fall in the officers" ....

Used to love that bit - c'mon - lets see how our leaders do the basics of working as a team - oooh look - that one's the only one in step -- HA - look at that one - NO MATE - YOUR RIGHT ARM GOES WITH YOUR LEFT LEG - that's it CHANGE STEP - shall we-will we-yes we will - OK he's got it ..... here comes the halt - **** me what an abortion!

"Officers TAKE POSTS" - Oh man this bit is really good - Pl Sgt moves from front of Pl to rear - Pl comd takes his place.

Pl Sgt is smart as a carrot - causes serious damage to the concrete with his right boot - Pl Comd is like Pingoo the freakin' penguin ..... are you SERIOUSLY gonna inspect ME looking like that - your hair is curling up under your beret - your shirt collar is half in and half out of your jumper and ..... have you shaved? Oh - no - that's OK - you're too young!

I'm exaggerating of course - Lemgo (seems to be a poular era) we had a Pl Comd who I won't name - not Goad, Not Tritton .....

Muster parade in running gear - denims, boots, red shirts - freezing cold - no - I mean FREEZING cold ...

This guy was an angry young man - had 'attitude' - once the formalities were over he would RIP through the three ranks - not looking for haircuts or dirty boots, but looking all the same - he may stop briefly "You look like ****, were you on the **** last night?"

"YES SIR"

"Well lag behind and I'll **** you - UNDERSTAND?"

"yes sir"

(This was not me of course!)

Then he would seek out the OC, inspecting A.N. Other Platoon and BUTT IN ..... "x Platoon inspected sir, permission to leave the square"

"Er - yes"
.... and he was away "OK - DOUBLE MARCH"

Next thing I knew we were WAAAAAARM - running around the woods and lakes behind the camp - I loved this stuff. OK - left to my own ends I may not do it so FRIGGIN' EARLY! But man - I'm getting paid to keep in shape and take in all this great scenery - what's that - dash the next 500 yards? - no probs! Pick up the guy on your left and dash another 500? You got it!

[ap1]

yea, I remember something similar in A Company. Maj Plummer, Sez Des and 46(I think), all had Canadian parkas. Very nice they were too............never seemed to be a problem wearing them on parade either:elvis2: Although to be fair to Brian Plummer, he did blag us a quality trip to Australia in 82. 10 yrs later, whilst he was CO he explained to me how he had achieved it, needless to say he admitted if any OC under his command had tried the same scam, he would have sacked them............great stuff

[dai hood]

to go off at a slightly different tangent it was in the depot crickhowell 1977 junior soldiers
we were having drill practice, we were formed up in a square by our platoon sgt ,a sgt jeffries, devon and dorsets.once we formed up i was opposite a lad from the rrw who had a very funny face a cross between ken dodd and bill oddie and every time i looked at it brought a smirk to my face
jeffries comes over to me ,says you smirk once more and ill knock you out i thought to myself dont look at him and your,ll be ok ,but a voice at the back of my head said go on have one more peep ,idid and the next thing i knew iwas getting dragged to the drill shed he,d kept his promise and knocked me out
i think he felt a bit guilty as he gave me his hankey [soiled]said clean all that blood away and get back on parade

id love to meet him now, and thank him for making me the man i am today

dai hood no1 padded cell
broadmoor