At Last...The Wrexham Xmas Blog 2009!

[Scouse75]

Well, after misplacing the little notebook with all the tell-tale stories, I've finally found it. So here we go with the Wrexham Christmas night out Blog from December....

Sid suprisingly started early with his entries this year, when having discussed the fact that we were not having our own function room at the Nags Head, Sid rang me and quoted "I hope the landlord has cordoned our area off, I don't want any civvies walking through!!" Just when I thought he still thinks he's a Sergeant Major, he rings again and says "Hey Scouse, make sure you finish work early, Just say that I have okayed it!!!"

To wind him up prior to the function, I popped in Heidi's place of work and took a photo of us together and sent it to Sid. His reply by text beggar's belief. He replied "Oi, hands off, She's Regimental property!!" Im not sure Heidi was too impressed with that comment!!

So, with preliminaries out of the way, it was on to the night out. Organised this time by Paul Gough and Ange taylor(Bri's wife). When I say Paul organised it, He just watched Ange do everything then accepted the credit himself! The first entry on the evening was for a repeat offender in the dress code section...YES...Howie Williams, who on this occassion treated us to his Crocodile dundee impression with matching jacket and shoes. He commented "Scouse, I didnt even bother this year, because you'll find something wrong anyway!!". Joining Howie in the "Not what to wear" episode was Mick Camplin who wore a fetching purple jumper, which would not have been too bad if an eighty year old in the pub wasn't wearing the exact same jumper!! Again on the fashion front, sid then explained that he had NEVER worn cufflinks in his life prior to this evening. As I reached for my pen, Sid whispered "Dont write that down mucker, that was just a Sid and Scouse story!". Paul Gough was hardly innocent on this category as he turned up like Francis Rossi from Status Quo, with a waistcoat and jeans. He even declared himself "The Gok Wan of Wrexham!!" ( I don't think 'GOK' was the word I would have used!).

As we know, old age hits us all, and in fairness it hits some harder than others. That is why I was not so suprised that Paul Gough advised me that Sid had done some research on getting his Jowels 'cosmetically adjusted', at a price of £1000. At the time of going to print, Sid has not undergone the procedure!! Paul Gough then went on to whinge about the standard of crackers, and the toys contained within. This was until I reminded him that he was hosting the evening, so it was his fault.

One thing about Army life, you do expect ex-members of the mess to have some sort of courtesy and manners at the table. This obviously goes out of the window when Sid's food arrives in front of him. For three years running he has tucked in before anyone else has even been served. (You can take the boy out of Newport......). As the food arrived, Sid and Heidi had there annual argument over their food. I asked all those seated "Who had 18mins in the sweep for their 1st domestic?". Speaking of which, Sid and Heidi were the only persons to use the food waitresses as their very own personal drinks fetchers!!

Jane camplin then began to get rowdy(no change there). It was at this time that we sent for the Sinn Fein interpretor! Sid then came out with something quite bizzare during the meal. He said to the seated masses "Sprouts are like Chavs, when I see them, I just want to TW*T them!!!". Paul Gough, never too quick to go to the bar then offered to pay for Shankleigh's(Bri and Ange's daughter) food and drinks. Until we all reminded him that grooming was not a very festive pastime!! In his defence(sort of) Shankleigh is over 18, but thats still no excuse! As the meal progressed a round of sambucca's arrived at the table. Goughie did nothing for Welsh/Irish relations by shouting to Jane Camplin "Jane, these are for drinking, not petrol bombs!!". Paul was now on a roll, and it was nice that a person not even in our Group snitched on paul Gough for checking his sun tan in the toilets.

Then the anti-Irish brigade took on a new twist, with the German contingent becoming involved. Heidi Commented "Jane Camplin loves Westlife, they must be in the IRA if she likes them!!!" With saracasm now coming from all directions, someone accused sid of being like Christopher Biggins, that was until i shot him down with "He's nothing like Sid, Biggins spent longer in the jungle, and he knew how to put a Basha up!!".

Well, as the meal ended and the drinks flowed we headed into town for more beers. Im afraid there was nothing further of interest to report. Either that, or it involved me!!! It may just be that this blog is a lot shorter, due to the fact that people are becoming more 'Blog-aware'. We have our Dai's Day night out sometime in March, and Im sure there will be more to report.

And remember, there's only 9 months until Commrades weekend. I think Im gonna need a bigger book!!!

[Lofty-25]

Nice one scouse - well worth the wait

[ap1]

Brilliant :-)

[Thom15]

Excellent Scouse.

[davidrmac]

Great stuff Scouse .
We need to have a chat with Sid , he's had more entries than the busiest bottom bandit in Entry Town . I am going to have to tell people that I am from Cardiff in future . The shame of it all , and he from such an upstanding family .