Mad Richie Irvine(B.E.M.) memories

My experience relates to getting duped into extending my service commitment! Whilst in Berlin,mad Richie IRVINE(B.E.M.) was my CSM...

Whilst innocently walking past the Coy office one day, Mad Irve poppped his head out and said.."HEY SCOUSE, I'VE GOT A WINDSURFING COURSE IN HAWAII THAT I HAVE TO NOMINATE SOMEONE FOR BY THE END OF PLAY TODAY, DO YOU FANCY IT?"

"TOO RIGHT SIR, GET MY NAME DOWN" I hastily replied.

"OK SCOUSE, OH HANG ON, YOU ARE ONLY SIGNED ON FOR 3 YEARS, ITS ONLY OPEN TO 9 YEAR MEN. YOU COULD ALWAYS EXTEND YOUR COMMITMENT?"

After I agreed, I was on OC's interview that very afternoon extending my service. Out I marched with visions of a sun drenched beach in the near future.

A couple of weeks later I popped my head into Irvine's office and said "HEY SIR, IVE NOT HAD MY JOINING INSTRUCTIONS YET!"

"WHAT JOINING INSTRUCTIONS SCOUSE?"

"YOU KNOW SIR, FOR THAT WINDSURFING COURSE IN HAWAII THAT I EXTENDED MY SERVICE FOR!!"

I can still see the grin on Irvine's face as he chuckled...."F**K OFF 75 YOU GULLIBLE TW*T!!, ENJOY YOUR CAREER!!"

I can't believe he ended up getting 14years out of me in the end. Oh, well happy days. I wouldnt change a thing!!

Scouce, i can't believe you fell for that one, we could probably start a new thread and fill 20 page's with stories about Irv's stitch up's

We did get a few up on Irv like the time he was 5 plt sgt , and his chicken chaser found its way on top of the ammo bunker out side the block one pre OC inspection nights. (six plt lads were very strong) . think he was spitting feathers till he found it 6 hours later..........

When we were in Warminster, The APC Platoon lads at lunchtime would walk a short cut from the garages, across the square to our accom block. Irve was the Provost Sgt and this really drove him mad.....when we made the shortcut, we were always on the look out for him, and at the first sign of the "Chicken Chaser" we would sprint to the block and disappear.

One lunctime myself, Dai and Johnny Hood, Keith Darlington, Parrot and some others were running the gauntlet across the square...all looked quiet...on reflection..too quiet. As we walked across the square, from nowhere screeched a souped up car..an Audi I think, which spun onto the square tyres squeeling, like the opening credits from the Sweeney...RUN!! we were too gobsmacked, wondering what was going on, when suddenly Irv jumped out of front passanger seat, followed by his other RP meatheads....."Got yer, spit, yer Ba***rds.....I got yer....yer all in the F**** jail..spit.

And so we spent lunch at the nick, I can't recall what he had us doing....I think he was just satisfied that he'd caught us.

A legend....Lets get an Irv thread going pleasse Mod's :twitcy:

I remember doing cos one day in warminster heading to HQ just appraoching HQ accomadation when Erv who was on the other side of the square shouted "sharpe" and indicated that i run to him now. With him being provo sergeant i ran to him as quick as i could, panting like an old man i reached him and said yes sarge, he just looked at me and said "alright" i said yes sarge he then said "go on then f%^*k off you little bas***d and walked off.

Hey Scouse dont worry i fell for something very similar so much for just doing the 3 years here i am nearly at the 22 yr point and yes IRV had that smile as well when he stitched me up:biglaugh:but good times wouldnt change it:biggrin:

I think we could definately get a few responses on a Richie irvine thread!! I'll start one when Im next on. Im sure many of us have a few tales to tell.

Good idea Scouse, maybe if we had a thread for past Provo staff, inc. the likes of "Donkey jaws" and "Twm Sally" for the older members, I'm glad to say that I never had the pleasure in serving at the same time as Richie Irvine, could you please explain, what is a "Chicken chaser"?

Brian.

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Originally Posted by Bricoates

could you please explain, what is a "Chicken chaser"?

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http://farm1.static.flickr.com/228/5...5ddcd3.jpg?v=0

Irv had one of those white pudding helmets, with the long straps under his chin....chortle

6 platoon, Denmark in 1982 - all "volunteered" to take their full allowance of Duty Free. Sgt "Bilko" Irv sorted out the exchange, all were happy.

Well, following on from popular demand within the excellent "Duped in service" thread. Here is the thread to share all your Mad Irve tales!! Perhaps you could copy and paste the ones you used in the other thread? Up to you.

I will get the ball rolling......

One sunny Sunday morning at Monty Barracks Berlin, Irve was prowling the block even earlier than normal. This was nothing new for Irve as he did look after the single lads and often popped in for a chat out of work. Although we all knew it was just to catch us doing something wrong!! Anyway, on this particular morning Irve had ordered us all to get on parade and this included the pads.

"JUST WEAR SPORTS KIT YOU BAS****S, i'VE GOT YOU ALL FREE TICKETS!!":nah:

Excited at the prospect of a free concert or footy match we were all soon fell in, in three ranks. Irvine then appeared from the Coy Office with a bundle of official looking numbers. Quizzical glances were exchanged throughout the ranks. Once handed our 'TICKET' we could soon see what the ticket was for!!! It was for the Berlin half Marathon that Irve had kindly entered us into, but 'forgot' to tell us!!:huh:

"RIGHT YOU BAST***S" GET THEM PINNED TO YOUR CHESTS, TRANSPORT LEAVES IN 10 MINS!!" This really was classic Irve!! And so it was, about two hours later we were lined up on the start line ready to go. Charlie Fenton had even acquired a huge Welsh flag that we took it in turns to carry between us.

I recall a lad called Macarthy(I think) from South Wales with ginger hair ran into the nearest bar when the race started, and only re emerged when the lead runners headed back into the olympic stadium. So, amongst the top international runners from Kenya and Ethiopia, was a drunken Royal Welchman stumbling down the 100m track of the OLYMPIC STADIUM,the same 100m straight that the great Jesse Owens had graced over 50years earlier!!!:laugh:

Great days..Cheers Irve!!:notworthy:

I can remember Richie when he was a Junior at Crickhowell (long lost dark days). He battered me one in face once when on exercise in Sennybridge. Litle git, lol:smile:

Oi!! Al I was one of Irv's "RP Meatheads" - Remember it well, we got you good............lol

Anyone remember doing Ammo Guard With B Coy, Richie used to rip us all off at Cards untill one day when myself and Biffo took him to the cleaners for about 300DM, Boy was he mad, dont think we stoped running for an hour.

Not many people turned the tables on Irv, maybe I was lucky?
I was tasked to drive the Manned Target Tank to Netheravon for a battering from the Milan shoot the next day, before I left I was told to go to the Guard room at Netheravan and pick up the safety equipment and fill up for the early start the next morning?
On my arrival at Netheravon I collected the equipment which included a radio and made my way to the Tank to lock it away for the night, whilst walking to the Tank I thought to my self the Guard Comd forgot to ask me to sign for it, I thought never mind I will sign tomorrow.
Early the following day I arrived back in Netheravon and proceeded to the Tank to set up and get on the range early for the shoot.
When I arrived I noticed that the lock had been broken from the hatch, then discoverd some one had syphoned the petrol, and nicked the tool box and radio?

I then made my way to the Guardroom and told the Guard Comd who promptly called the BOS yes Ritchi Irvine, Thinking to my self **** I am right in it now.
In to the Guard room came Irv saying whats the problem, so I explained and Irv with a big grin on his face said ' Benny your right in the ****' at that point the Guard comd turned to Irv and said ' Dont think Bennys in the **** Irv' whys that Irv said? the guard comd replyed he hasent signed for it?Irv says, what do you mean he hasent signed for it whos signature is on the 1033, his face was a piture when it was his, did I laugh no chance I left a bit rapid hearing screams of some **** had better find out who did this. Classic:notworthy: