Sid/Scouse75's Cyprus blog

Blog 4:

At the time of writing, Sid has advised me that he has been for a jog and a dip in the sea already this morning!! I really do want to believe him, but Im going to need more convincing than a mere "HONEST I HAVE.YOU KNOWS THE SCORE SCOUSE, UP AND AT EM'!!"

So. let me cast my mind bck to yesterday for you. Ahh yes, firstly Sid got a telling off for failing to bring his I.D card with him on a trip out of camp. Sid, it is no good saying to me all the time...."HEY SCOUSE, WE HAVE GOT MORE POWER HERE THAN THESE RMP'S MUCKER!!". and then leave all forms of identity back at Joanna's house. I feel that kit checks each morning will have to return.

Although we did visit the mess on Weds evening, we were sensible(for us), and didnt have many. This enabled me to get up early and listen to WO2 Jones10(Bean) on the live on BFBS radio. Bean was being interviewed by the station in anticipation of the forthcoming 'GREASE NIGHT', Sgt's mess summer ball. Bean has organised the evening for the Sgt's mess. Well, when I say organised, he has organised what people are going to do all the work for him!! There will of course be an in depth post-function report on sunday's blog!!

When Bean first came on the radio, I thought that they were interviewing someone else. It sounded more like TV presenter Ben Fogle and his elequent manner. It certaintly did not sound like the lad that I had grown up on the streets of Llangollen with. Then realisation it hit me! If Bean could not pose by appearance than he would do it be voice!! He really will not pass up any opportunity!!

That afternoon Sid and I decided to take the jeep out for a little spin, he allowed me to drive yesterday!! Upon seeing what appeared to be a sign to a tourist attraction, i drove to the location and said to Sid "OH LOOK SID, IT APPEARS TO BE SOME KIND OF ANCIENT RELIGIOUS MONUMENT". To which the boy from Pil replies.."LOOK SCOUSE, WHACK THE CAR AROUND THE CARPARK, AND LET'S MAG TO GRID OUT OF HERE.YOU NEED TO HAVE A CHAT WITH YOURSELF!!" So, all efforts to indulge ourselves in some local Cypriot culture ended with Sid taking us to a beach side bar for, wait for it...Egg and chips!!!

Whilst at this idyllic and tranquil location, I then spotted another opportunity to embrace the local culture and attempt to bring Sid along for the ride...... "LOOK SID, I THINK THAT IS A GREEK ORTHODOX PRIEST OVER THERE, ITS THE FIRST ONE I'VE SEEN THIS WEEK". And what was culture boys response?...... "WHO YOU ON ABOUT SCOUSE, THAT GEEZER WITH THE BEARD?". So after years of religious tradition and what is seen as a famous and recognised symbol of the Greek Orthodox religion has just been summed up by a Sergeant in the Police as..That Geezer iin the beard. Im speechless, for once!!

We then headed back to the pads estate where upon seeing us, Heidi said "JASON(SID), YOU LOOK WHITER THAN WHEN WE CAME OUT HERE!!" He is now known as Casper the Ghost!!

Whilst at the house, I asked Sid to put some after sun on me. Sid frowned and whinged a little bit, until I said "WELL SID, EITHER YOU ARE RUBBING IT IN, OR YOUR WIFE OR DAUGHTER IS GOING TO!!!" Job done, nice hands Sid!!

A quit night was had and Sid stayed in with his family. I ventured to the local town with Bean, but drove the jeep to put temptation of a beer aside. Nothing major to report really, apart from I obviously left me daysack in yet another establishment!!! My security code is now AMBER. I am on remedial admin training tomorrow!!

So for this afternoon, Sid and I are looking after his grandchildren, whilst Heidi and joanna have a well earned day off relaxing on a boat trip in Paphos. How hard can this babysitting lark be!!!? We have decided on, drive thru Macdonalds whilst they are strapped into the back seat will be the safest and easiest option.

If all goes well, its happy hour in the mess tonight. And Im sure some more meatier tales to tell you all.

Take care all,

Scouse 'security alert' Hughes and Sid 'Ive been for a jog!!' burns

sounds like another fun day scouse, put some pics up on here for further amusement mate.....

Will do. But Bean has put some on the home page already. Blog 5 tomorrow morning will be a good un after happy hour tonight!!

i am injoying the reading Scouse keep it coming.
I wonder if Paul Gough is reading this aswell.

Blog 5:

Day 6 in the big Brother house and Jason Gilman Burns is still asleep in bed...again! Yesterday was an event filled day wih plenty of people falling foul of my pen and paper, so let's crack straight on with it:

Just to remind you, yesterday was the day that Sid and I were put in charge of his grandchildren for the day. So, following a full set of orders from Jo and Heidi we will left in sole charge. We decided that a morning on the beach would be the best thing to knacker them out, so off we went. When we arrived we were advised by the 'Fusilier Beach' staff that the Battalion were on route for the C.O's run and swim. This did not sit well with Sid who remarked "THE BLOODY BATTALION TAKE OVER EVERYTHING, I WANT THE SEA TO MYSELF!!" Once reminded that it was in fact their beach, he relaxed slightly.

The grandkids were soon up to mischief, and Sid was beginning to stress out! I think it was a combination of the heat and his ginger hair. A short time later, the Battalion arrived at the beach having run down from camp. massive respect lads/girls.

The C.O arrived and popped over for a chat and enquired if we were being looked after. Having informed him that the hospitality has been first class he then said "SCOUSE, THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE SWIMMING SHORTS, I SUGGEST YOU GET CHANGED AND FALL IN WITH THE REST OF US FOR A BIT OF P.T!!"

So here was the dilemma...looking after Sid's grandchildren or getting a beasting in the sea. I chose the easier option and two minutes later I was fell in, in three ranks for the safety brief given by Capt Adrian(shadey) Kent, who incidentally ran straight passed me earlier on, and although he was my Platoon Sergeant in Gorazde failed to recognise me. I took off my shades and he quipped "Bloody hell Scouse, sorry mate I did not recognise you with your new 'muscular' figure!! Cheers Shadey!!

The staff sergeant PTI then gave the run down on the mornings activity, which was basically relay swims out to a number of bouys. He then instructed us all to get into three's with people of similar fitness. So in front of the Battalion, I shouted "BEAN AND OZ, IM OVER HERE!!" Much to the amusement of their boys. My laughter however was very short lived, when the C.O 'invited' me to join his team. So, in lane 1 of the Battalion relay swim was...The Commanding Officer, The Regimental Sergeant Major and myself!! I worked out that seeing as they are both very very fit, on a law of averages, we should still win!! Indeed, for the first few relays we did hold a decent lead, until fitness, or lack of it on my behalf began to show!!

During one front crawl sprint, I was absolutely dying and thought to myself, Scouse, You are on holiday why stress yourself out with all this beasting?. It must be a natural squaddie thing that makes you competative. Although the olympic swimming team have nothing to fear, I cracked on and quite enjoyed the commaraderie of a Battalion beasting!! (first time in years i've not been able to use Battalion rugby as an excuse to get off it!!)
To finish off, we all had to swim around a big square as the final part of the session. I soon found myself doing my Baywatch bit, after one of the lads started suffering severe chest pains. In fairness, I thought they were joking at first, unitil I realised it was genuine and they had gone completely white. I swam over and helped them to the sfaety canoe. As we swam back in I thanked them for getting me off the remainder of the lap I was on!! Following the swim, the Battalion all formed back up, and ran back to camp!! I would have loved to have joined them, but I had to help Sid out Im afraid!! When i did return to Sid he welcomed me with "OH THAT'S RIGHT SCOUSE, LEAVE ME WITH THE KIDS WHILE YOU MUCK AROUND WITH THE LADS!!" Believe me, that beasting was not 'mucking around!'

So, after using the old..If you behave we will take you to Macdonalds trick, off we set for Limassol, and the Maccy D's drive thru!! Even after strict instructions from his daughter and wife not to let it happen, Sid allowed the kids to go to sleep. Even when I drove at speed over the ramps they did not wake up. But it was funny to see them rubber necking in the back!! We returned to the pads and gave the kids their Burgers, they soon said "GRANDAD, WHERE ARE OUR FRIES?" sid, realising he did not buy them any then blatantly lied to them and said with a totally straight face..."DON'T YOU REMEMBER LADS, YOU ATE THEM AT MACDONALDS BEFORE YOU WENT TO SLEEP!!" He actually convinced them that he had bought them some and that they had eaten them!! I have a confession to make, throughout the day, i did let slip a couple of swear words in front of the kids, but thankfully they did not hear. Sid rightly had a go at me for it. however, when the kids asked us whether they could make cakes at the house, Sid, at the end of his tether replied "NO YOU CAN'T, YOU ARE NOT TAKING THE P**S OUT OF US WHEN WE ARE BABYSITTING!!"

Whilst sat at the house praying that joanna and Heidi would come home early I said to sid "IN FAIRNESS, THEY HAVEN'T BEEN THAT BAD" a mere 30 seconds later we discovered that they were cooking toast under the grill and unsupervised!!! The girls soon arrived back and we went through the normal handover/takeover routine, before Sid and I prepared ourselves for a night in the mess. During the week, I have managed to geta couple of bites on my face so I secretly asked Joanna if she had any foundation I could use. Little did I know, but Sid was around the corner and heard me. Oh he did enjoy telling the Sergeant's mess about it. Cheers Dave 08 for admitting to being a secret user of foundation yourself!!!

It's now happy hour in the mess, and we tell the RSM that whilst driving past Guard Mount the other evening, we took some photo's. We were promptly fined for not standing still and to attention when it was on!!! Sid has a number of outstanding rounds to buy after the RSM fined him for the following:

1. Making the RSM wait for a beer when it was his round.
2. Paying with a 50 Euro note the other day and getting 50 back!
3. Promoting himself back to a Sgt Major prior to the tour!

You can tell that Sid is now getting on in years as he asked the Mess 'MUSIC MEMBER', Stevie Cowap to turn the music down as Sid could not hear anything!! Whilst mentioning Stevie it is worthy of mention that he asked the adjutant yesterday on the Battalion run.."SIR, WHY ARE ALL THE EXERCISES WE HAVE CALLED DRAGON SOMETHING?" Er, Stevie, it may have something to do with our nationality perhaps?!!

I would like to advise you all that I think Bean is an Officer in the making. He asked Sid for shorts everytime he went to the bar, only to be told by Sid "IM NOT BUYING YOU SHORTS BEAN, YOU ARE COMPANY SERGEANT MAJOR FOR F***S SAKE!!" Following this, we were discussing the quality of shirts, to which Bean exclaimed "WHEN YOU SHOP WHERE I DO, YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING QUALITY!!" Perhaps if the quality is that good, he should consider keeping his shirt on when dancing from now on!!!!

Well, it's the Summer Ball this evening, and Im sure there will be many a tale to tell. Even if some will need to be watered down slightly!!

speak to you soon,

Scouse'Duncan Goodhew' Hughes and Sid 'younger and more deaf brother of Larry' Burns

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Originally Posted by Scouse75

Blog 5:

Well, it's the Summer Ball this evening, and Im sure there will be many a tale to tell. Even if some will need to be watered down slightly!!

Scouse'Duncan Goodhew' Hughes and Sid 'younger and more deaf brother of Larry' Burns

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Scouse!!!!!! I have a bad feeling about this function, you've been so good for the last 5 days, the "Anti-Misbehaviour Elastic Band" must be at full breaking strain. Just remember we're all rooting for you to get through the function without occuring any extras!!!!

SID(younger, heavier brother of Larry), you need to be on "FULL SCOUSE ALERT", I suspect it may be prudent to raise the security state to RED

Scouse you forget I was stood next to you when Shady ran past and i dont remember anything about 'muscular' figure' been said.

mate

Great fun reading this, looking forward to the next installment
By the way I,m CSgt Richie 01 not Sgt!!!!

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Originally Posted by richie9901

Great fun reading this, looking forward to the next installment
By the way I,m CSgt Richie 01 not Sgt!!!!

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Thats got to be a bottle of port Richie:rolleyes:

For all you avid readers of the Scouse blog, who are wondering where is today's enthroalling episode is, well!!!!!!

Scouse left the house last night at 1845hrs for the Mess summer ball dressed in army coverals and a white vest posing as one of the T Birds. it is now 1310hrs local time and he has not returned to his basha.

The only conclusions I can come to is that,

1 He has been arrested and is now with the SBA police trying to convince them that he is civilian police officer from Wales, this however could be hard to prove as he has left his police warrant card at the house.

2, He has met some young single female guest at the Mess and went down to the beach to watch the sun rise over the Med.

Or 3 and probably the odds on favourite, he has got that bladdered and flaked out in the Mess after kiicking some young AGC Sgt out of his room, after stating do you know who I am? and I've got an Army rugby cup winners medal have you?

We all know that naughty kids will come home when thay get hungry.

Sid