The cat's away

Al is off on holiday - snigger!

Let's hear your latest jokes - I'll start you off.

What's got two legs, one wheel, flies and hums?


A wheelbarrow full of pig muck!

OK, Try This one not a joke but a bit of fun:-

"Your Age By Eating Out"
Don't cheat by scrolling to the end!

If you are good at maths this will only take a moment.

1. Pick the number of times a week you would like to eat out (more then once but less then 10)

2. Multiply by 2

3. Add 5

4. Multiply by 50

5. Add 1757 if you have already had you birthday this year, add 1756 if you haven't

6. Subtract the year you were born.

You should be left with a 3 digit number, 1st digit was your original number the next 2 are your age, Oh yes it is!

***WARNING- A BIT OF A NAUGHTY SEX JOKE. DO NOT CONTINUE IF EASILY OFFENDED!!**************************************** *************************

A young boy walks into his parents bedroom and sees his mum and dad having sex. The young lad looks on in horror. His dad notice's him and shouts angrily.."Oi, get out of here, me and your mother are trying to have some fun here!!"

The little lad, still annoyed at what he has seen sneaks into his grannies room. He then starts making love to her. Hearing the noise, his father bursts into the room and his horrified at what he sees. Before he can shout anything, his little lad turns around and calmly says...

"Not so funny when it's your Mum is it?!!!"

Al - I'm really sorry!


Two birds on a perch - one says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

Farmer Giles gets a phone call from his farm hand.

I've run over a pig and it's stuck under the tractor still alive.....shoot it says the farmer, and then bury him.......

About 20 mins later he gets another phone call...Done that, what should I do with his bl~~~y speed gun?

Sorry to the Wrexham constabulary!

Just been 2 an Al Queda Birthday Party - musical chairs was ok but pass the parcel was fast !